Get Fat (Or Die Tryin’)

To properly prepare for the celebratory feast that takes center stage on Thanksgiving, I did what any health-conscious American would do on Skinny Wednesday (the day before Fat Thursday, a.k.a. Thanksgiving).

I cancelled my YMCA membership.

I said “no thanks” to the Y’s open arms, treadmills, swimming pools, yoga classes and locker rooms. Their fresh towels and free water just weren’t for me any more.

I’d been an active member for more than a year. But when June rolled around, I just quit going.

In that year, I didn’t lose any weight, really. I may have toned up a bit, but nothing I wouldn’t miss in exchange for gorging on fatty, salty and sugary snacks. Now there’s a reward I dig.

So here’s to celebrating those Holiday Pounds, the best gift we could ever receive this food-filled season.

Happy birthday, baby Jesus. It’s all for you.

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